thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
