obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess