Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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