WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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