well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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