we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
