I wanna bring you to show and tell
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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