I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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