Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
