HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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