I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
