we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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