If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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