Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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