Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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