Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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