we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
