D3 body, D1 cock
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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