Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
