i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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