margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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