the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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