just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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