I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.