YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize