How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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