I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
