i wish my penis had a tongue
love makes seman taste better
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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