i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
