garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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