I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
