What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
