Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
