Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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