I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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