i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
