chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You took a bar mat shot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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