At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
