Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.

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(419): I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief. http://tfl.nu/du8g

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(251): View more from Alabama

There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.

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(251): There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged. http://tfl.nu/om7h

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(+44): View more from England

He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.

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(+44): He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober. http://tfl.nu/8esm

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes

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(865): I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes http://tfl.nu/sup4

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?

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(732): I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break? http://tfl.nu/m0ae

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(252): View more from North Carolina

its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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(252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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(724): the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street http://tfl.nu/sbee

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(616): View more from Michigan

Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.

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(616): Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson. http://tfl.nu/7vwr

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist

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(615): Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist http://tfl.nu/58no

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(518): View more from New York

Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.

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(518): Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass. http://tfl.nu/ms9b

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(970): View more from Colorado

Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.

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(970): Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/abxe

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face

(763): View more from Minnesota

How can a condom be "half used"?

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(218): Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face (763): How can a condom be "half used"? http://tfl.nu/3d85

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(818): View more from California

Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it

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(818): Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it http://tfl.nu/vzjc

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Playing nyquil pong with a cat again

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(931): Playing nyquil pong with a cat again http://tfl.nu/9ic0

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