come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.