You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
