hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
