Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my shit smells like andre
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
