I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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