i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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