Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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