Ketchup is God's man juice
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
