Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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