i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
