im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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