Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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