hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
