he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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