Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
