Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
