I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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