i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
