Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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