Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
